Talking Less is Sometimes Best

I enjoy the gift of gab as much as anyone,  but lately I've been thinking sometimes it's best just to keep your mouth shut. This is sometimes difficult for me, because I am a very opinionated person. But then I think of a lady who had a very significant impact on my life, and I remember how her words encouraged my heart. She was always so kind and thoughtful,  but perhaps it's what she didn't say that most affected me.

Rose Morgan, a.k.a. Grammy,  was a lady who loved and babysat my girls. In the mornings I was always flying in by the seat of my pants, so we would only exchange pleasantries. But in the afternoons, we always took time for rich conversation.  

It would begin by her debriefing me about the day. She would share escapades and funny stories she'd had with the girls. Then she'd inquire about my day, and somehow she'd always work a life lesson into our conversation.  I will always treasure the nuggets of truth I gained from her. 

Sometimes though,  I learned more by what she didn't say to me. Monday afternoons, especially when the girls were babies,  I'd tell Grammy about our weekend adventures. Inevitably one of the girls would have always learned a new trick, and Grammy was always interested to hear the news. Whether it was a first smile, a first word, or a first step, Grammy would just smile and say, "Oh that is just grand!" Her eyes and her smile told me she already knew the great news, but she never took those "firsts" from me. She just let me think I was the first one who got to experience these milestones with my girls. Though I never knew this for sure, I always felt so full of gratitude for this thoughtfulness she extended to me. 

When I look back over my adult life,  if I am completely honest, there have been many times when I opened my big mouth and inserted my opinions.  What if I had followed the example Grammy set for me? What if I didn't always make a comment on everything? What if, like Grammy, my words were always encouraging? Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Thank you, Grammy for making that scripture so understandable for me.

Run Over...Again

I'm not sure if you know anything about boxwood bushes,  but I have learned over the years they are very hardy plants.  We have a boxwood bush planted in the corner of the flowerbed,  right beside the driveway. We've lived in this house for 16 years, and I cannot even begin to tell you the number of times this bush has been run over. All kinds of people have run over the bush for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they clip the corner too close,  or accidentally back over it. One person even ran over it for spite, yet the bush remains strong.  Oh it has a gash taken out of it, but the roots run deep,  so the bush can flourish despite the multiple blows.

Do your ever feel like that boxwood bush, where you try hard to stand tall, but it seems there's always someone or something to knock you down? At times like this we may feel hurt and judged by others.  People can be so mean sometimes.  Their comments and accusations can cut us deep, making a huge hole in our hearts. But that's when we must remember that we have a choice.  We can allow the blow to cripple us by believing the lies others are saying, or we can listen to God's voice and know we are dearly loved.

The next time you feel attacked,  remember this:  With God's help, you are stronger than any attack planned against you.  Don't get discouraged and give up just because you get dinged a little. Your roots run deep. So trust God, put a smile on your face, and bloom where you are planted.

Ready, Set, Bowl!

This afternoon I went bowling with the youth group. It was fun watching each kid approach the game in a different way. Some were competitive and wanted to be in first place. Others just willy-nilly threw the ball hoping for the best. Many people go through life emulating one of these strategies.  There is so much we can learn from bowling.

I think friends are a lot like bumper bowling. When life takes a curve and feels like it's headed for the gutter, we can count on our friends to help guide us back on the straight and narrow. We always need to be focused on Christ, the center pin. That's why it's so important to choose the right friends.

Sometimes when you're bowling, the ball accidentally jumps out of your lane, goes over in the lane beside you, and gets stuck. That's when the man in charge has to step in and get the ball back into the game for you. When unexpected life events take us down a path we did not see coming, God is there for us. If we trust Him, He will set our feet back on the right path.

Other times, like a bowling ball heading straight down the center of the lane, life rolls along smoothly and we get a strike. This, my friend, is cause for a celebration.  When life goes well, we should dance, cheer, and thank God for our successes.

Regardless of their score, do you know what all those crazy kids had in common? They were all happy and having a great time. They danced, they high-fived, they giggled and they cheered. What if, regardless of where our ball is rolling, we all approached life in a positive, encouraging way?  Then when asked, "Who won?" we could answer like one of the kids and say,"We were all winners!" And that, my friends, is a good day!

Trapped

This afternoon I went busting out of my office at MHS with an arm load of papers, only to ram smack into the door. At first I thought I didn't turn the knob enough, but no matter how hard I jiggled the handle,  it wouldn't budge. I put pressure on the door and jiggled. I pulled the door to me and jiggled. I even tried to jimmy the door open with a paperclip. Nothing. I was trapped!

My knee-jerk reaction was to panic and start to scream for help, but then I remembered I was in a school filled with people who could help me. So I remained calm and called Mr. Foster, who was in the office next to me. The conversation went something like this:

Mr. Foster: "Hello."

Me: "Don't make fun of me, but I need you to come over here and open my door. I am stuck."

Mr. Foster: "Are you kidding me?"

Me (In typical Lee Anne Bray fashion): "No, I'm not kidding. Now get over here right now and help me."

I won't bore you with all the details,  but in a nutshell, here's what happened. He had to call in reinforcements.  There was beating and banging and comments like, "This isn't working, we may need to cut it out." After what seemed like three hours, (really it was only a few minutes) they got the door open and I was Free!!!!

After a near-death experience like that,  I had to stop and wonder how I get myself into these things.  And then I remembered the words of my Grandma Judy. "Sometimes you just have to laugh, because life is funny." So laugh I did!  I cannot describe to you how relieved I felt when that door finally popped open.

You know, Jesus promises us freedom just like that. We never have to fear because He promises forgiveness to us no matter what we've done. All we have to do is believe in Him, and ask to be forgiven. God doesn't want us to feel beat down and trapped.   John 8:36 says, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Are you holding on to something you need to let go? Bust loose, my friend. Don't stay trapped when you are only one prayer away from freedom!

Life: An Uphill Battle

This weekend I went on a hike in the mountains with eight kids who were almost 30 years younger than me. It was a one mile trek to the top, and we spent every step of the way cracking jokes and making plans of what we'd do if a bear came chasing after us.

As always, when I spend time with teenagers, they teach me huge life lessons. When you stand at the bottom of the trail and look straight up, reaching the top seems like an overwhelming feat.  So you shift your perspective and focus on taking the first step. Once we started walking, it didn't seem so bad. The trail wasn't very steep, so we were able to quickly gain ground.

As we traveled onward, I began to wear down, but I had crazy teenagers cheering for me.  That's one reason we need to always surround ourselves with friends. Life can be a little hard sometimes, so it's important to have people who will encourage you along the path. Having friends by your side makes the journey enjoyable.  Plus a little laughter along the way is good for the soul.

Sometimes life's journey is smooth, and climbing upward is easy. But other times the course is a little more difficult.  There may be bumps along the path, and unexpected things that cause us to trip, and sometimes even fall.  But if you're careful,  you can easily navigate, as long as you keep your eyes focused on what lies ahead. So onward and upward we climbed, enjoying every step of the adventure. The higher we climbed, the more beautiful the view.

But then the trail unexpectedly changed. The terrain became very rough and steep. My legs were burning like crazy, and I couldn't hardly catch my breath. Maybe this hike wasn't such a good idea after all. I mean, I could just wait for the kids while they raced to the top. I was probably just holding them back anyway.

Isn't that exactly what the devil would have me think? Aren't those the same tactics he employs on us?  He tries to discourage us. He tells us we can't make it to the top, and he tries to convince us to just give up on the journey.  Sometimes we may even be tempted to listen to that dumb devil. After all, the view was beautiful.  Did I really need more? When life gets difficult, wouldn't it sometimes just be easier to settle instead of pressing onward to reach the prize set before us? Those are lies from Satan. God has so much more in store for us, but we must keep moving.

Of course this story ends at the top of the mountain,  where all of God's creation is on display.  The view is breathtaking.  So grab some friends by the hand and keep trekking. Don't forget to laugh and encourage each other along the way  because an incredible journey lies ahead of you.

Brothers and sisters,  I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining for what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God had called me heaven ward in Christ Jesus.      ~Philippians 3:13-14

Tappahannock Tornadoes: What I Didn't Know

Today I sat in a meeting beside a lady who looked extremely put together.  She was dressed in a cute spring outfit, and she wore a huge smile on her face. What I didn't know, until after the meeting was over,  was that her home was severely damaged in the Tappahannock tornadoes. I didn't know her vehicles had been destroyed or the houses on either side of hers were totally flattened. I also didn't know her mother-in-law had survived being sucked up in the vortex of the storm. I didn't know the terror, turmoil,  and uncertainty she had faced over the last several weeks. At least not until she chose to share her story.

As I listened to her tale, I couldn't help but admire the poise she displayed and the calmness in her voice. She spoke of those who had stepped in to help, and she kept saying, "It's just such a miracle no one was killed."

All day long I thought about this girl and what she has endured over the last few weeks. Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  My friend is a powerful example of this scripture.  She had business to attend to today, and she went about her work with a smile.  She probably has no idea the major life lessons she taught me today.

So tonight as I lay my head down to sleep, I will pray for those tornado victims again.  I wasn't affected by the storm, and so shamefully I had forgotten about them.  I will pray for peace and comfort for the victims, but I will also pray I won't forget about those all around me who are fighting battles I know nothing about.

You've Got This: An Open Letter to Teenagers

Dear Teenager,

I want you to know I see you over there, trying to act like you have it all together. You smile and politely answer when someone asks you a question, but I see that look in your eye. You are tired, because you work so hard trying to balance school work, sports, your job, your responsibilities, and your social life. Hang in there, teenager. Your hard work will pay off, and you will do great thing in this life.

I see your pictures on social media. I know you are struggling. You think you are all alone and no one else feels the way you do. But I want you to know you are not alone.  Tons of kids, just like you, are fighting hard to make the right choices.  I see the pressure you are faced with on a daily basis. Stay true to what you know is right.

I want you to know I'm proud of you.  I see you balancing all that stuff, and you still have time to be kind to others.  Good job, teenager.  God created you to love others,  and I see how you do that each day.

Try not to worry so much about what other kids think about you, teenager.  Many of them are preoccupied with fitting in with the crowd. They only act like that because they are trying to find their way in this world. Don't take it personally, teenager. It's not about you. Be kind, teenager, even when they hurt your feelings.  Then if they say mean things about you, everyone will know it's not true.

And those Snapchat stories and Instagram posts- that's just what they want you to see. It's not necessarily reality, but a way for them to make you think their life is perfect.  No one's life is perfect, teenager. So don't let social media cloud your thoughts.  You are created for so much more.

Don't be discouraged and lose heart, teenager. You are so unique and beautiful.  God created you just the way you are. Stand tall, be strong,  and make good choices. Above all else,  love and trust God. He is using you, even in these hard days. One day soon, you will be an adult. You will look back on these teenage years and be glad you were bold and went against the crowd.  You are going to do great things,  teenager. I am so proud of you.

Love,
One of your biggest fans